Holding on or Letting go

I tell you no lie when I say letting go is one of the most difficult things to ever do. The emotional trauma that comes with it is just too much to bear.
What we should realise however, is that when we open ourselves up to a relationship, we have automatically opened ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt. Knowing this doesn't necessarily mean that it will hurt any less though. Everybody loves to love and each soul loves to be loved but reality is that things don't always work out the way you plan them.
Holding onto to something or someone that doesn't want to be held onto will do you no good. The emotional attachment will make it hard for you to leave of-course but you just need to focus on the positives. No matter how bad it may hurt, you just need to remind yourself that it will soon pass. Heartbreak is the best teacher and one should really value the lessons that are taught by heartbreak.
There is no feeling that is worse than feeling helpless. When you feel the person that you love slipping away from your fingers and no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to bring him back. No matter what you say to him but he just doesn't budge. That is the kind of heartbreak I'm talking about.
Sometimes we hold onto things or people and we don't even realise it. It quite difficult to completely get over a situation that involves your emotions.When a person comes into your life, they don't realise the impact that they have. You may even find that the decisions you make are based on that individuals opinions or how you think they would feel about certain things. When that person or thing walks out of your life then you suddenly feel that you are no longer living but just merely existing.
Life feels like one whole big routine. Everything's the same from Monday  to Monday and even though you don't want to breakdown, it would do you good if you did.

This is what we live for and this is what moulds us to who we become.

THE RELATIONSHIP KILLERS

For any relationship to work, whether romantic or friendship, communication is key. The best person to discuss your relationship with is your partner. Throughout history, couples have been warned to watch out for a third party in their relationship. The mistake that most women make is to assume that the "third party" will always be the women that their partner cheats with. Well you could never be more wrong sweety. Do not under-estimate the power that your friends could have on your relationship. The third party could very well be your bestfriend. In nine out of ten cases, men have been found cheating with their partner's bestfriend. A recent status by Nonhle Zulu on facebook read, " I can't believe after everything I've been through for him, he cheated on me! To make things worse he cheated with my bestfriend! #SoMad". This just makes it clear that Nonhle under-estimated the power that her friend had on her relationship and this is why she did not see this coming.

Men have an admirable principle, they do not "kiss and tell".This means that their private life remains just that, private. Which is why men are normally at peace when it comes to relationship drama. As women we tend to share too much information with our girlfriends. I could bet you R100 that your best-friend knows your partners favourite sex position. This is not because she googled it but it is because you yourself told her. Women are very descriptive when it comes to telling their friends about just how she and her partner get the deed done. The reality is that not everyone is satisfied with their sexual life. The more you describe describe just how your partner gets it right, the more the friend wants to experience this for themselves.

A survey conducted on woman showed that they cheat because:

a) When her friend describes her sex life, it is nothing that she has ever experienced.

b) A close friend disapproves of the relationship and so she feels pressured.

c) Their closest friends are cheating to.

A mistake made by most woman is allowing a friend to dictate to them how a relationship should be run. What you should remember is that different people prefer diffferent things. Allowing this causes conflict in the relationship because the last thing a man wants to hear come out of their partners mouth is, "My bestfriend said..." This tells him that you have been discussing with your bestfriend and that makes him uneasy. Another would be, "your ex is..." This tells him that you are insecure and are indeed threatened by his ex. The moment he makes this discovery, he will start looking for things that do indeed make his ex better than you. The most common is, "We need to talk", this tells him that he is in trouble. If you are going to base your whole argument on what your friend said then you are going to anger him. The worst thing you could ever say to your partner is, "My ex was..." This tells him that you are not over your ex and and that you have been comparing him to your ex the whole time.

The roots of these four statements can be traced right back to the third party. Do not listen to everything that your friends tell you about your partner. You can never be too sure of their agenda. You will have instances where they genuinly care and are trying to protect you but at the end of the day, the relationship is between you and your partner. Just you two alone. Instead talk to your partner about what you've heard and get his side of the story. What we women should always remember is that we fall for certain people for certain reasons. We fall inlove with the qualities we see at present. Why then should we allow or entertain a judgement passed on them based on their past? As people grow, people change, as people change, people mature. Love and respect your partner and always remember that communication is key.